A Poo Emergency

I have a friend who uses the expression “Poo Emergency” more frequently than you would imagine. Let me tell you, being back in Chiapas makes a stop on the side of the road look like nothing…

I realize that after a hiatus from writing, you probably weren’t expecting this post today. After all, this summer has been full of all kinds of family fun. Bebita and I have been all over meeting new family members. Sometimes, the things that weigh heaviest on a blogger’s mind come from somewhere deep inside…

Using the bathroom in Chiapas isn’t squatting over a hole in China–but it isn’t a pretty thing. It was one of the things that I had the hardest time getting used to last year. I mean, seriously, I know toilet seats aren’t necessary, but they sure are nice! (Do you think Mexican men got tired of their wives complaining, and they just decided to take them off?)

We carry toilet paper with us everywhere too–because apparently that’s also not a given…

My newest experience involves my husband’s sweet family. Most of the houses have a crude sort of bathroom outside. (Think outhouse without the smell–and an actual toilet to sit on.) His sister decided to move her “bathroom” to inside her house. I use the word inside lightly, as there is an open area to the side of the bedrooms where the family cooks, eats, visits, and…uses the bathroom.

Oh! And to flush, you fill a bucket with water from the rain barrel by the better old bathroom location. How could I forget that!

This particular morning, I was hurting while mentally willing the family to get up from the table a mere five feet away from the open air bathroom. By “open air” I am referring to the fact that I can look up at the guava tree while I’m using the facilities, I can see the family move about through the shower curtain, and I could join the conversation without raising my voice if I were a braver soul.

Instead? I clench my muscles and explain to my husband that my bowels are rebelling against tamales and tacos. (Yep. We no longer have secrets, it seems…). We work as a team to fill the water bucket before I go–as to quickly remove the wastes as soon as possible.

The privacy of the Starbucks bathroom was not wasted on someone unappreciative today as we made our way back to “civilization”.

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Poop Poop Everywhere

My husband likes to take my daughter’s diaper off and let her roll around naked.  Apparently, this is a Chiapanecan thing.  He says she needs some air on her nether region in order to keep from getting diaper rash.  And I don’t totally disagree…  BUT I can’t help but sigh in exasperation when she does it again.

Alexandria has pooped or peed nearly everywhere and on everything.  Furthermore, I breastfeed her.  So her poop is this really slimy yellow liquid.  Not exactly what you want to clean off:

1)  Our first bed–  this was the bed that we were in right after Ale’s arrival.  We moved to a different bed the first weekend.  She pooped or peed (or both), and Victor had to wash all the covers in the middle of the night.

2)  Our second bed– we change her diaper here most often.  That means this is where husband-0f-mine likes to let her air out and “exercise.”  It wasn’t long before he decided to get a mattress cover (Not a fancy normal mattress cover–but a sheet of table-cloth material from the Tela Store).

3)  Her Daddy– I like to sing, “Poo-poo on Daddy!”  When Victor lets Ale get a little breeze–he also will tend to carry her around naked. So more than once I’ve heard, “Oh no!”  Then he comes to show me poop on his leg.  “Look what she did!  She pooped on me again!” he will say proudly.

4)  Her play carpet– we bought this carpet because our floors here are tile.  I wanted to have a place for Alexandria to lay down and really get exercise.  Yesterday Victor had her naked (Do you notice a trend here?) when she began crying.  I always take my shoes off when I step onto the carpet–and lucky for me!  I found out the hard way that she had peed all-over everything!  (Seriously, how do baby girls a) pee so much, and b) really shoot it out there?)

Our daughter doesn’t have to have her diaper off when she makes one (I like it in Spanish when they talk about dirtying a diaper–that’s how they say it.)  She likes to really spread the love:

5)  All over the nice lady we stayed with in Monterrey during meeting–  I look over thinking that she’s handing me Ale just to see something dripping down into the floor.  Oh yes, explosive diaper.  All over the front of Rosario’s skirt and all over the cute outfit she was wearing…

6)  On her breastfeeding pillow–  I like to prop her up on this thing.  She holds her head up and will push with her legs.  Actually, she catapulted herself over the top the other day.  The same day I had to wash the cover–thanks to a little squirt (Not a nickname–just the verb…)

You know the one place she hasn’t made her mark yet?  On me.  I am really hoping to keep it that way…