Dear Sweet Ale-Cat,
Mama has never felt more helpless than she does now. You have slept in my arms all day, cuddled up next to me breathing laboriously. You open your fever-filled eyes and look at me–and my heart breaks. Because now, I finally understand what causes Grandmama to say, “Oh, I wish it was me and not you…”
You are so amazing, and Mama loves you more every day. I can’t believe how great it feels to see you reach each milestone. When you push up on all fours–then look at me with glee, I feel so proud! This is my baby! Look what she can do now! Sitting, standing, walking, running, climbing…I know that so much lies around the corner!
Ale, Mama loves all you can do–but most of all, Mama loves your sweet little spirit. I know that God has a plan for you that is great. I feel the burden that every mom must feel: to raise you to know and love our father in heaven! I want you to be aware of God’s plan for each of us, and to listen to his voice speak to your little heart. Little lamb, who made you? Doest thou know who made you?
You’re playing on the floor now with your giraffe, and I watch you with wonder. How could God think that I should be entrusted with a treasure as precious as you? There are a lot of things in life that Mama used to be proud of–but none of them are noteworthy now. You. You alone, sweet baby girl, make Mama’s heart swell.
Every day with you is something of a marvel, and oh! how I long for the moment that your eyes are free from pain. Until then, my love, cuddle your Mama. Let me love you up, mi hijita.
With a heart full of love,
I watched my baby last night–she was laying on a blanket in the floor, and Mama was “gettin’ her.” In the South, that means that she was tickling her tummy all the while saying, “I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha!” Alexandria laughed and laughed. The sound makes my heart so happy.
During the night, she snuggles up to me like never before. I can’t decide if this is because she’s extra snuggly (being away from her daddy and home), or if it has something to do with the pillow-top mattress we sleep on. Hard Mexican beds don’t allow for a lot of movement during the night. She cuddles up beside me, and I look down to see her cubby little arms tucked between us. This morning Mama took her and played with her–letting me get a few extra winks.
At gospel meeting yesterday, she sat up on my lap. It makes me sad that her papi couldn’t see her. She was (is) so big! Her cousins (from the youngest to the oldest) wanted to play with her during meeting. I remember that, you know. I loved sitting with my nephews in Omaha. It gave me something to do other than listen… Hence the reason why I said, “No” when my very capable niece wanted to hold Ale.
Oh, sweet Ale! She is so loved! My suegra (mother-in-law) loves it when her son tells her everyone loves our baby. It makes me so content and proud to see everyone loving on my baby. She’s got an important role, I just know it. There’s a place that she’ll fill someday–maybe just giving unconditional love to God’s children! Only he knows, but I hope he empowers
me us to raise a beautiful, strong, kind, and helpful young woman.