You guys should know that all my immigration news has led me down to a sad place. Last week I felt like a heavy weight of worry and doubt was hanging over my heart. When my inside is a mess, I make my outside very tidy! I clean. I organize. I create order.
This is a pretty good method–and it tends to work well for me. That’s what I did this weekend. I tackled one bedroom (our summer bedroom that has the air conditioner and most of our clothes). I did laundry, and then I sorted the laundry: clothes we can still wear went in the closet. Clothes that are winter clothes went to a missionary here in Coahuila or to my friends with small children. And I began my first box of things to move. Right now it contains the girls’ baby blankets and our winter items that we bought in Chiapas during Christmas vacation.
I also made a conscious effort to settle myself spiritually. Saturday morning I worked through this question: What is different between my life now and my life six years ago? Six years ago, I had no problem leaving it all in God’s hands and trusting his guidance. What I realized is that I am not taking the time to read and pray like I used to. When I wake up, I am usually followed by a couple munchkins, and then my day gets busy. I have to make an effort to read and pray!
I am recommitting my purpose to trusting God. There is no way any of us will make it the next year (month? week? day?) without trusting God. I KNOW he has good things planned for us. I KNOW there is a reason he is bringing us back to East Tennessee. I KNOW that without trust I will continue to feel sad and hopeless.
I believe in his plan…although I don’t know what it is. Until it all comes to light, I will continue to make a daily effort to communicate with my heavenly father. We heard recently that our time of prayer can’t just be us talking, talking, talking. There has to be time for us to listen to what God has to say.
Are you there, God? It’s me, Jania. I am listening…
P.S. The literary reference came naturally…
11 “…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord… (Jeremiah 29)