My biggest kid is starting school next year. (Here in Mexico kids start around age three in preschool.) I have been a little concerned about something, and tonight I decided to write about it:
What if my kid is worse than I think? What if she isn’t always the person I see her be, and she morphs into a school monster? (Some kids are totally different in the privacy of their own home…) What if I can’t see how she really is through my mom-blindness?
This is seriously worries me.
I think mom-blindness is a real thing. It doesn’t matter how big your kid gets; once they engage in an altercation with someone, the mama bear emerges with claws blazing. Sometimes we think bears only attack when provoked. That’s where the expression comes from, right? It’s the don’t-pick-on-my-baby response that every mom has.
That’s all fine and dandy, but guess what? This morning I read about a guy who was attacked in his tent while he was asleep. When they recovered his possessions, everything was chewed to bits. With no true cause, the bear attacked a man and all the inanimate objects in his tent.
What if I am a mama bear when I shouldn’t be? Like, maybe MY kid is at fault and not the other person sometimes.
I have tried to explain to daycare some of Ale’s “quirks.” She doesn’t talk until she’s comfortable. She is fully potty-trained, so I can’t explain why she doesn’t tell you she needs to go. She didn’t have a sibling until three months past, so maybe that is why she doesn’t share. But what if all of these are just excuses, and my kid is just that kid with a crazy teacher mom.
What if I make too many excuses for my child’s behavior because of mom-blindness?
I am making it my purpose to be less subjective. I will try to take a step back and consider my kid’s potential for misbehavior when analyzing what other people say. I will try to see the situation through their eyes. I will try to see past my innate love for my child, to see the real her (faults and all). Then, I will love her anyway.
An ex’s mom told me that once: “We don’t always like what our kids do, but we still love them.” I understand that better now than ever before.
So, I will love her. But I don’t want my love to ever enable her misbehavior to continue. I want to be able to correct my child and love her at the same time. And I want eyes that see clearly through it all.