My thoughts are full of my baby girl who will join us in 8 short weeks… She wakes me up in the night, and I lie awake thinking of what I need to do, questions I need to ask, and money I need to save.
My big girl is sleeping beside me, her feet occasionally digging into my sides. While she’s excited about her sister, I lie here wondering what she will do when another baby joins our bed. How will we sleep? Where will the baby go? How can I make sure Ale still gets to snuggle too? How will I breastfeed and read at the same time?
Then my thoughts take me to our impending appointment with a midwife. I didn’t know she existed before Ale was born, but I’m interested in her services now. Will we like her? How will she react to my wishes? What happens if I tear? Can she repair that? (quick Google search for perineal massages…) Will she let me delay cord clamping? When will she want to set up the birthing pool? Why did her family come to Mexico? I wish I could snoop more on Facebook…
Googling prepping my down-there region reminds me to look at hypnobirthing again. Quickly I open my iTunes and start listening to a variety of options. I find that I prefer a British or Austrailian accent over an American. When should I start meditating? How do I choose the right track for the right time? Is this just a study course, or will someone talk me through my birth? Will it make me fall asleep? Will I be wasting money?
Oh! Money! I have to budget for the next two weeks before we get paid again. That reminds me to look into what essential oils will relax me or help stimulate contractions. While navigating the Young Living page, I get frustrated over the lack of prices. Is it worth it? Do I need to get a diffuser? Should I just bite the bullet and sign up for a starting kit? Did my friend already order one as we discussed today on the bus? Will I get it in time?
What else do I need for her? I ordered some clothes and socks. What did Ale wear? Will her cloth diapers be too big? I begin to think of my cloth diapers folded neatly in the closet, and then of the new diapers I ordered. That reminds me that I need to get gift cards for my baby supply mules who went home over Thanskgiving break. Then my stomach growls.
Really? I’m hungry in the middle of the night? While I’ve only gained three pounds, I start thinking of the next eight weeks of baby growth. She already feels so tight–how much bigger will I get? How long will the doctor let me work. I need to remember to print a copy of the “new” law to take with me to my appointment on Friday. What if he doesn’t let me work during January? What if the baby comes early? Will I be able to get a passport in time?
Without a moment to spare (haha), I just have to check the requirements for Mexican passports. There is no way the baby could get her birth certificate and passport (from the U.S.) in time to travel in March.
Oh! March! Graduation! Eek! Class work that is due soon!
And then I begin building a list of what I need to do at work in the next 14 school days prior to Christmas break…
This, my friends, is why I am lying in bed awake at 3:05 a.m.