Oops! A Passport Problem

I know I have to trust him with this, I said. I was explaining to my friend what was going on in my head while I let my husband handle the baby’s passport paperwork. Normally I take care of important paperwork, but I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. We are moving houses. I’m moving to an office for my new job. We have end of the school year madness at work…

So, he did the research.
He made the copies.
He got the doctor’s signature/letter of health.
He printed what we needed.
He paid for the passport.

I only had to do one thing: make the appointment. I made the appointment–it’s for June 24, 2014. That wouldn’t be a problem, except I will be leaving Mexico this Friday, June 20th…

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My Parasite Baby

You know what’s scary? Thinking you feel a phantom baby moving around in your uterus for a week. These are the thoughts that go through your head:

Crap! Was that a baby?
Am I pregnant?
Wait…when was my period?
If I feel a baby then I’m four months pregnant at least!
Sooo, am I like those women on TV who don’t know they’re pregnant?
I can’t be pregnant. Can I?
Aww. I wouldn’t mind having another baby.
Wait! What are you thinking! You don’t need another baby right now!
What would I do if I’m pregnant?
My boss is going to kill me.
I need to google this. “Why do I feel a baby moving if I’m not pregnant?”

Me:“Victor, it feels like a baby is moving. My tummy hurts. I feel really full.”
Him:“I think we all might need to take an anti-parasite pill.”

Okay. Intestines moving around…
Whew! Just a parasite baby…