A Letter to My Sunshine

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You are my sunshine–my only sunshine.  You make me happy when skies are gray!  You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.  Please don’t take my sunshine away…

Dear Sweet Little Girl,

I don’t think I will be able to find the words that describe just how special you are to me.  I remind you of what my mama told me: you will never know a mama’s love until you become one yourself.  Oh!  You fill up my heart until it is close to bursting!  I don’t see how I could ever love you more!

Everyday with you is special, but I find myself thinking of today.  Today is Mother’s Day in Mexico–and tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the United States.  Sometimes I can’t believe that I am YOUR mom.  You’ve set my world spinning, sweetheart, and I don’t think it will ever stop.  I couldn’t help but beam with pride when strangers greeted me today, “Felicidades, Mama!” they said.  I felt like they weren’t just wishing me well–but somehow each salutation was someone seeing you!

My little Ale-cat, your giggles and grins are so special to me!  Today as I changed your diaper you looked up at me knowingly.  Succumbing to your twinkling eyes, I tickled your tummy.  Your shrieks of laughter were music to my ears!  Again and again I let my fingers dance across your tummy as you wiggled away.  With an expression of pure glee, you snuck back over to crawl into my lap.  I melt all over again…

Your grandmama said that she loved the days when we were hanging onto her skirt-tails as she maneuvered around us in the kitchen.  I don’t remember those days, but I am building memories of you, sweet pea!  I spotted you again today as you snuck your milk into your favorite cabinet.  Then tonight, you came toddling in with leftover sauce in each hand to store away!  What am I going to do with you?!  I’ll have to remember to check that cabinet now.  I have my own personal chipmunk with an easy-to-reach stash of bottles and snacks!

I think you said agua today–and banana!  I can’t believe how you’re growing up, my love!  Even the sounds that aren’t words sound just like us.  I feel like we will soon be able to tell your English and Spanish apart based on the pitch in which you talk!  With that ever-present twinkle you wave, “Die, die!”  (bye-bye)  Boldly you move around the room talking to yourself counting, “uh, duh, uh, duh” (uno, dos, uno, dos) the way Daddy did as he taught you to walk.  I hear you singing while you’re playing or bathing, and no camera would ever do you justice!  I hope you always keep that song in your heart, little girl.

I know that someday, you’ll be sad and brokenhearted.  The bottom will drop out of your world just like it did mine.  I hope you will come let me kiss you and nurse your hurt away. Mamas have a way, you know, of brushing you off and putting you back on your feet.  I hope you’ll have a faith so strong that you’ll let God blow you where he wants.  Until then, God will keep you under his wing.  Until then, you don’t have to cry for my love.  Until then, you don’t have to fall to get my attention.  Until then, let’s keep that smile on your face, that twinkle in your eyes, and that sweet laughter ringing loud and clear.

With a love so grand it hurts,

Your mama

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