What Are You Having?

You always hear about women getting tired of answering this question.  It doesn’t bother me too much–maybe because we have decided to be surprised.  I get to hear a different version of the question, or at least it means something different.  People who know we’re waiting to be surprised ask me if I know–as if they’re waiting for me to change my mind (This doesn’t really bother me either…)

Today, I began making a list of what it would be like to have one or the other.

If I have a boy:

  1. He will probably have “cactus hair” like my husband.  These are his words–not mine.
  2. I will be resigned to say, “No soccer in the house!” for the rest of my life.  This revelation came not long after we purchased a soccer ball to play together…
  3. Potty training is already puzzling: do I teach him how to go sitting down or standing up?
  4. Buying clothes will rock!  Blue jeans.  Tennis shoes.  T-shirts.  What more does a little boy need?
  5. He must learn to dance like his Daddy.
  6. I guess I’ll get peed on.  My niece pees the moment air hits her bottom.
  7. Daddy will have to teach him how to aim.  I am not about to have a smelly gross boy bathroom.
  8. Girls watch out.

If I have a girl:

  1. Let’s hope she takes after Papi’s family in the hips/butt department.  Victor’s sisters are so slim through the hips.  And my family…well…slim isn’t a word to describe our posterior regions.
  2. Do they have return policies at around age 10?
  3. Maci (my oldest niece) might have to come spend summers with me.  Knowing my luck, I’ll get a little girl who only wants to wear “a hurt and a curt” (and shirt and a skirt) everyday.
  4. Sigh.  Clothes are cute–but they have SOOOO many!
  5. She WILL wear big bows in true Mexican girl fashion–but not when she’s a baby and they take over her head.  On the other hand, the doctor told me today that the baby has a big head.  So, perhaps that won’t be a problem…
  6. I hope she isn’t mean like me.  Yet again, please take after Daddy, baby!!
  7. Yes!  I get leftover baby clothes from my little sister’s baby!  Score!
  8. Boys stay away.
  9. Maybe she can live with Mom when she hits puberty…

My favorite answer to the question, “What are you having?” is this:  A Mexican.  People really never know what to say to that.  I get a lot of awkward laughs…

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