I really came close to making a big mistake. I was under the impression that Victor and I are the only English speakers in birthing class.
I’ve been getting frustrated. You see, this is the way birthing class goes:
- Walk around on my toes.
- Some stretches and light exercises.
- Breathing Work.
- Partner massage (my favorite).
- Birth Lesson.
One through four aren’t that bad. I actually really enjoy it–and feel like the breathing exercises are helpful (despite the fact that I have a cold and can’t quite cut it…) Four is by far the best part of the day–as we stretch out on labor balls (I don’t really know what they’re called. This is much better than my previous experiences with them where I was doing sit-ups and ab work…) and our partners massage our backs. Sigh. My kinda class…
Well, then part five comes along. This wouldn’t be that bad, except I am a nerd. I love to learn new things–and I read ALL about pregnancy, birth, and lactation. I’ve read interest articles, research articles, opinion articles. I’ve watched videos and documentaries detailing everything. I have a mom who (according to Victor) really knows her stuff. And so, while there is a lot I haven’t experienced yet, I am doing my best to stay educated and informed.
Not the case with all mothers.
Our lessons are constantly interrupted with questions like, “If I drink a lot of milk will it help me produce more milk?” And “Is it okay to drink beer to help my milk come in?” And “If your boobs are bigger, does that mean that you will have more milk?” BIG SIGH.
The worst part is that the class is from 7-9 p.m. and that is already encroaching on my sleepy time. Then we walk home, shower, and by the time I FINALLY crawl into bed, I am a big brat. So the whole time, Victor listens intently, translates the ridiculous parts, and then laughs with me quietly as we scoff at silly questions.
Last week, the instructor/midwife asked a bored-looking teen soon-to-be-father if he had learned anything, and he replied, “No. We watched this on YouTube.” Another time, the same kid said, “We read all about that on the internet.” So see! I am NOT the only one!
Of course, he doesn’t mutter in English just to find out when he leaves that the two couples that attract the most negative comments speak perfect English…Perfect.