Free Fallin’

It’s every pregnant woman’s nightmare.  And yet, I somehow mangaged to accomplish what I have been avoiding.

I fell yesterday.

I’ll blame it on my equilibrium and not on my cute flats or the tile sidewalk.  In any case, I fell.  Hard.  But, the good news: I caught myself on my hands and knees.

See, this is what happens if you’ve been a klutz your whole life.  You get used to tripping and slipping–so you learn more about gripping (anything and everything around you).  Lucky for me, my kiddos were in front of me.  A custodian saw, but I was tough.

At least I was tough until I got to my classroom and sat down.  Then my baby started doing a little dance inside of me that felt like there were four babies in there.  I started to worry.  And worry.  AND WORRY.  Until pretty soon, I had convinced myself that I was having mild contractions.  Yeah.  I know.  Contractions hurt, right?  Well, I’ve never had them so I don’t really have much to compare it to.

I went to the office first.  My principal is a pretty good mother, and I knew she could talk me down off the ledge.  She wasn’t there.  I went to the counselor’s office.  I thought for sure that they would at least help me communicate with the Spanish-Only Nurses.  Not there…

Finally, after bursting into tears (we’ll say it was the hormones), the nurse took me to examine my baby.  Estas bien, she said finally.  You’re fine.  Whew.  Big sigh of relief.

Bigger sigh of relief after the doctors-on-wheels arrived and checked me out.  They blamed it on this being my first pregnancy.  I got too excited, and the baby reacted to my tension.  I don’t know.  This baby is still moving like a Mexican Dancing Machine.  I think I must have turned on some button–the movin’ and shakin’ button.  That must be it.  She’s just a Mover and a Shaker.

Life With Loved Ones

I feel like such a bad blogger.  I think this might actually be the longest I’ve gone without an update! I’m going to go ahead and blame it on Naomy.  No one can stay upset at a cute baby Mexiamerican.

I flew home last week with an agenda.  Knowing it was my last trip before THIS Mexiamerican arrives made it pretty bittersweet.  In all the years I’ve been living away from home, this will be the longest time span.  Usually I make it home every couple months or so.  I don’t even have a window of opportunity until next July!   Sigh…

Despite the sob story, all my plans changed when my sister actually DID go into labor.  No longer was this a week of baking and basking in the glory of my baby bump.  Nope.  Now it was time for Tia Nia to save the day.  We made homemade playdough, desserts, and read books.  We drew pictures and sang songs.  I was worn out everyday from my monster sweet nephew.

Then, night came.  No relief for the weary in that house.  Me–the pregnant one who takes five minutes to adjust pillows each night–I slept beside Orlando.  At one point I woke up feeling this pressure on my belly.  What do you know: Lando’s fat head was propped up as he struggled to breath.  Little snotty nose brat…

If only he (and his sweet mean little sister) hadn’t stolen my heart away.  Stinkin’ little thieves. 

Occupying My Mind

He’s seriously taking over my body. My mind. My heart. My hips…

I feel like all I ever talk about is my baby, my pregnancy, my baby body. It must be maddening for my friends and family. Half of them have gone though the same thing and aren’t too interested–it’s old news. The other half hasn’t experienced it and isn’t very interested either.

My husband is a champ though: He listens dutifully, and remarks with genuine surprise. He interrupts conversations to say things about the baby. And he patiently waits for the baby to kick him as I press his hand against my growing belly.

He doesn’t complain as I try to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Not a word is muttered as I grunt my way out of bed to use the bathroom for the bazillionth time. And when I ask for back-rubs–he accommodates me!

So, maybe I’m not alone as self-entertaining proclaimer of the wonders of life. I have an audience of one. And lucky for me: he’s as excited as I am. That’s the way it should be, huh?

What Nights Are Like at Six Months Pregnant

9:00 p.m.   Really sleepy.  Head to bed to read or play on iPhone for a few minutes.  Sing to the baby (Favorite song of the moment is South of the Border.)  Push around feeling for some kicks.

9:30 p.m.    Wiggle around.  Prop pillows everywhere.  Sound asleep in less than five…

11:30 p.m.  Wake up.  Stumble to the bathroom.

11:35 p.m.   Wiggle around.  Readjusting pillows.  Groan and moan.

12:15 a.m.    Wake up seemingly wide awake.  Check email, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, etc.

12:45 a.m    Drift off to sleep.  Have weird dreams.

1:30 a.m.    Wake up.  Stumble to the bathroom.

1:35 a.m.   Wiggle around.  Readjusting pillows.  Groan and moan.  Now perfecting the roll-off-the-bed move of the night.

2:15 a.m.    Wake up kick the covers off of me.  Demand more air.  (Victor hides his head under the covers to stay warm.)

3:30 a.m.   Wake up.  Stumble to the bathroom.

Starting to get hungry.  Decide to sleep instead.

3:35 a.m.   Wiggle around.  Readjusting pillows.  Groan and moan.  Wake up Victor.  Get a back rub before drifting to sleep.

4:00 a.m.  Wake up cold.  Steal the covers back from Victor.

5:00 a.m.    Wake up.  Stumble to the bathroom.

Have hunger pains, but ignore them.

5:05 a.m.   Wiggle around.  Readjusting pillows.

Drift off… kinda… Baby moves like crazy demanding food.

5:30 a.m.    Wake up.  Stumble to the bathroom.

Gag uncontrollably.  May produce bile or mucus.  (TMI, I know…)

5:45 a.m.    Cook breakfast.   Drink milk to keep from getting sick.

6:40 a.m.   Catch the bus to school (work).  Take a nap on the way there.

Today I explained that my closed-toed shoes don’t fit.  This is my latest pregnancy woe.  I kinda laugh about it, but I was informed today that I am causing one of my co-workers to never want children.  Better for you to know the truth before you go into the situation!  I replied.  And I believe it.  Maybe next time they complain about not sleeping well, I should let them in on this well-kept secret.

I remember Mama saying, “When you have children, you will never sleep the same way again.”   No kidding, Mama.  I feel like I could have used a warning about my pregnancy too…

Dancing My Way To Limber Hips

I guess this is what happens when you’re six months pregnant: my hips and lower back are starting to get stiff. I also found three tiny stretch marks today. I had to work my way through that. It’s okay, Jania. You’re having a baby. That is so much better than worrying about stretch marks. Plus, it’s not like you were ever a bikini-loving girl in the first place.

This weekend I started using my friend, YouTube, to limber up my body. I didn’t really realize how stiff I’ve become. I crack when I stand up sometimes, and I know that I still have a little ways to go. I mean, the reality that this is the last month of my second trimester is a little overwhelming. I’ve been thinking, “Maybe I can take it back. I can wait a little while to have a baby.” Get ready, Jania, because here she comes!

YouTube is already a favorite for all those brave moms who’ve posted their labor videos–now it’s even better as I have been practicing Prenatal Yoga and Belly Dancing. That’s right, folks. Belly dancing. It is just what I need for these aches and pains in my hips!

After watching a Zumba instructor who was eight months pregnant lead a class, I tried a little of that too. Turns out, I am less coordinated than ever before. That doesn’t stop me from dancing for my husband.

Oh, no worries. I don’t belly dance. Not really. I just stand around him sing Salt N Pepa’s hit “Push It” while making our baby jump around. Today I stood behind the door frame so all he could see was the belly. It makes him laugh, but quite frankly, I get the biggest thrill. If you aren’t up on your bad dance music, check it out. Video

I guess this isn’t the kind of music they want babies to listen to in utero. Y’all watch out: if my baby comes out with a flat-top and gold chains–I am blaming it on his Mexican side of the family.

Further Evidence That I Married My Father

I like to think that my birthday present to my dad this year was better than anything my siblings could (or would) give him. See, my little sister is concerned that because he is getting so old that he will die soon. I don’t want his heart to give out on him, so I periodically raise his blood pressure. That will work, right?

He likes it.

He might tell you that I drive him nuts, but it’s good for him. (I think.)

So, this year I gave him a good argument on his birthday. I don’t know what it is about our relationship–because I could let it go if some other family member said the absurd ideas that he comes up with (See how I do that?). With him, I just have to let him know how ridiculous I think they are.

So, after this argument nice conversation between father and daughter, my husband says, “You know, you really should be more respectful to your dad.” What, husband? You say you want a little of this too? Just you wait, I have a lifetime in store for you–and you haven’t even had the practice my daddy has had…

Then, he went and got sick(er) on me. I decided to cut him a break and play nice. (After all, that’s how I keep the men in my life on their toes.)

What does he do? Sneers at my sweet tea I made him (per my Mama’s orders). Psh. You’ll only drink it hot? AND you want lemon and honey in it? Well, it’s a good thing: because that’s exactly what I plan to give you ’till the day you die: Lemon. (With a little honey)

Just don’t start using the value pack of evaporated milk that I bought to make biscuits and gravy for your tea, and I will let it slide…

School Celebrations

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It’s new for me: celebrating Halloween at school. I mean, really, it’s something I always wanted to do! Alas, our dictator principal told us that we could only have “fall” decorations in Northern Virginia.

But in Mexico, it’s game on! Pumpkins become jack-o-lanterns and scarecrows are replaced by witches, bats, vampires, mummies, and other frightening creatures. Door decorations are over the top–and crepe spider webs hang from the ceilings.

Children come to school in their costumes–scary costumes! Faces are painted and the little goblins are marched around the gym in a Halloween Parade! It’s my favorite part of Ramona the Pest in real life! The baddest witch in the world has nothing on these miniature Mexicans!

Halloween was, of course, followed by Dia de Los Muertos. This was a whole new concept for me: as our dead stay where they belong at home. The kids don’t talk as much about it, but big and small altars are all over the school. Each item on the altar represents one thing or another.

Honestly, I can’t wait until Christmas if this is what we do for Halloween! Christmas in the States was a big no-no too. But rumor has it that we go all out!

You know what’s interesting? The one time I’m allowed to have a celebration for a holiday I love, and the responsible me has a plan: my students were amazing. They didn’t blink twice as I taught Math with a green face. It wasn’t a free-for-all by any means: after all, got to keep the munchkins in control!

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