My Rock-Hard Abs (Question Mark?)


My Rock Hard Abs?

I like to joke that this is the first time I have ever had a hard stomach. I joke, but really, it’s the truth. I’ve always been a little on the softer side (that’s the nice way of calling myself chubby).

Actually, that’s the thing about being chubby: it’s the first time that society really accepts the fact that you’re carrying around a few extra pounds. It also really comes in handy when you’re trying to hide your pregnancy. No one wants to ask a chubby girl if she’s expecting.

On the other hand, when you do finally let everyone know the news—having people avoid talking about your bulging belly is a pain. Sometimes I want to wear a sign saying: Hey People! I’m not fat right now! I have a bun in the oven! I’m waiting for the days when people voluntarily touch my baby bump. Currently, I have to say, “Hey! Feel this!” Normally , they gingerly prod it with a finger or two. I often grab their hands, and poke it around. I am NOT passing up this opportunity to have people feel my hard stomach.

The good news is that I am really eating rather well. I mean, I won’t lie and say that Victor and I don’t order pizza every once in a while. I also will admit to “cooking” chicken nuggets. I’ve been a little nervous about buying raw meat. I mean, it’s one thing to treat myself for parasites. The last thing I want to do is get some bug WHILE I am growing a baby. So, Victor and I buy frozen meat. We do also buy frozen chicken breasts, but Victor has adopted my fat Mexican nephew’s mantra, “I love chicken nuggets, Nino! I love chicken all day long!”

Unfortunately, yesterday our marriage came to that point that all Blakleys must reach with their partners. “Husband,” I said, “Let me teach you something about Ketchup.” This was necessary, you see, because he proudly showed me the refill for the ketchup bottle. In Mexico, you can buy refills in bags and they are a little cheaper. “There is only one ketchup we buy, and that’s not it” I stated, matter-of-factly. It’s best that he knows where I stand now when it comes to ketchup, peanut butter, and toothpaste…and the attention I need for my rock hard abs.

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